


Down

by orphan_account



Series: Angst [2]
Category: jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Depression, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-15 02:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5767816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Mark and Jack are best friends and Mark cannot be left alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down

**Author's Note:**

> tw // alcohol, suicide and eating disorders

 

  _Dear Diary,_

_Today is January 23rd of 2016._

_I mean, who thought I would make it this far? I certainly didn't._

_Jack's asleep in the other room, and since I haven't spoken to you in awhile I decided to jot my thoughts down. I know, the last entry was.. what? September of 2015?_

_I remember him._

_He was a good friend._

_I miss him occasionally._

_I've been better._

_You're probably wondering who Jack is, and why you haven't heard of him before._

_Jack is my best friend._

_We met at Starbucks in The Grove back in November. I went up to him first, asking where he was from. An Irishman!_

_We talked a bunch after that.. exchanged numbers. I fell in love with him quickly.. like I do._

_We're not dating. He's straight, as far as I know._

_I can't tell him I love him.. never. He'll walk away, like everyone else._

_Maybe it's his blue eyes that I fell for, but damn, that boy is surely something inside and out._

_Shit, gotta go. He's up._

_Love, Mark_

 

Mark carefully shut his journal without a sound, sneaking past Jack and putting it back where it belonged, clicking the pen shut and throwing it towards his bed. "What'cha doin'?" Jack asked, coming up behind him. Mark jumped slightly, chuckling to himself. "Um.. nothing! Just, waiting for you, I guess." He murmured, turning to face the other boy. Jack's eyes glistened with happiness and content, but it was probably only the sun reflecting off the mirror in Mark's bedroom. "Oh, alright." He sounded slightly disappointed and Mark made a mental note to overthink his actions later, smiling at him weakly. "Why were you waiting? Y' could've just woken me up," Jack offered, frowning. "I didn't wanna disturb you." Mark lied smoothly, blushing a little and focusing his gaze on the floor. In reality, Mark  _loved_ watching Jack sleep, no matter how long it was. He always looked so peaceful and lovely, like all the problems in the world would just disappear for awhile. Mark fell in love a tad bit more every time Jack snored.

Neither of them said anything, just standing there, enjoying each other's company. Both of them knew it was because Jack was gonna go soon, and even though they'd see each other the next day, goodbyes between the two were always the worst. Mark always cried after Jack left. It was ridiculous! They basically lived together but Mark could never shake the fact that something could happen to poor Jack whilst he was away. Car crash? Murder?  _Suicide?_ Mark didn't know. 

Mark's anxiety always spiked high for the first couple hours when Jack wasn't there. He'd wait an hour or so before texting Jack constantly, praying he was okay. He wasn't even religious. Once Jack texted back - and he  _always_ did - telling Mark he was fine, Mark could calm down. On a normal day he'd heat up a sad microwave dinner, binge watch  _'How I Met Your Mother'_ or  _'Two Broke Girls'_ until he passed out on the couch, waking up at an ungodly hour in the morning and playing a stupid video game until he fell asleep again. It was a routine by now. On depressed days, he wouldn't eat anything, nor sleep much. He'd just sit and stare blankly at the wall, sometimes crying, sometimes not. Today was one of _those_ days.

"I g-gotta go," Jack interrupted Mark's thoughts, stepping back. "You're coming back tomorrow, right?" Mark clarified, raising an eyebrow. Jack nodded. "O' course." He smiled, turning and walking down the hall towards the front door. Mark followed slowly. They hugged again at the door before Jack sped away down the street, leaving Mark at the door, drowning in his own sadness. Mark turned, locking the door, and walking to the kitchen. All things alcohol taunted him and he mumbled under his breath.  _'No. I'll literally fucking die.'_ Mark thought, standing in front of the vodka. He didn't even know why he still had it. Without thinking, Mark popped the cap off and swung his head back - downing a fourth of the bottle immediately. His head started to pound and his stomach churned and he hissed, shaking his head.  _'Maybe that's what I want.'_

The bottle hit the floor and smashed into pieces. Mark stepped back, slipping on the vodka and falling helplessly to the floor. He pulled out his phone, dialing Jack's number. "Mark I'm not even home yet, do you really need me now?"

"C-" 

Everything was black.

 


End file.
